Anxiety and depression are among the most common mental health challenges affecting young people today. While it is normal for children and adolescents to experience stress, sadness and emotional ups and downs, persistent changes in mood, behaviour or functioning may signal that additional support is needed.
In this webinar, Dr Emma Woodward and Dr Joe Stammeijer explore how anxiety and depression present in young people, how parents can recognise early warning signs, and practical ways to support children, including those who are neurodivergent. The discussion highlights the importance of curiosity, open communication and early intervention in helping young people build resilience and thrive.
How can parents tell the difference between anxiety and everyday stress?
Everyday stress usually occurs in response to a specific trigger or situation happening in a child’s life.
Anxiety is different, as it is often a more generalised, future-focused worry about things that may or may not happen.
Signs of anxiety may include avoiding activities they once enjoyed, worrying about relationships or friendships, or hesitating to try new opportunities.
Some stress is normal and even helpful. Positive stress (eustress) can motivate children, help them prepare and build coping skills.
Distress, however, occurs when stress becomes overwhelming and lasts too long, which can lead to anxiety.
Anxiety often involves two key thoughts: something bad might happen and I won’t be able to cope.
In some cases, anxiety can become generalised, where a child feels worried or uneasy without a clear reason.
Anxiety is not just psychological. It involves physical responses in the body, such as increased adrenaline and cortisol, which can reinforce anxious thinking.
An anxiety disorder relates to a sense or feeling that something bad is going to happen, constantly worrying without real cause resulting in extreme distress.
Signs may include avoidance, increased worry, difficulty relaxing or withdrawing from activities.
One of the most powerful ways parents can help is by remaining calm and supportive, as children look to their parents for cues on how to manage stress and regulate emotions.
How would you explain depression in a clear, relatable way?
Depression is more than ordinary sadness. While low moods are part of normal life, depression is a clinical condition that has a significant impact on a person’s daily functioning.
It often involves a persistent low mood that can occur in response to life events or sometimes without a clear cause.
Depression is an inability to find joy in things that used to make you happy.
Depression can also affect the body, leading to changes in sleep, appetite and energy levels.
This lack of motivation is not simply a choice; the ability to feel joy or engagement can be diminished and children may appear withdrawn, unmotivated or emotionally flat because they have lost that “joy spark”.
Depression can be influenced by biological, psychological and environmental factors.
It is important to respond with understanding and empathy, recognising that the child may not have the emotional capacity to do things that would normally help them feel better.
What are the biggest misconceptions about anxiety and depression in young people?
A common misconception is that too many young people claim to be anxious or depressed, or that mental health is sometimes used as an excuse.
It is important not to dismiss or invalidate children’s experiences, as anxiety and depression are real and meaningful challenges.
At the same time, we should be careful not to label every normal emotion as a mental health disorder. Feeling sad, worried or stressed at times is part of normal life.
Increased awareness of mental health has led to greater emotional literacy, meaning young people are more able to recognise and talk about their feelings and struggles.
Because stigma is reducing, more young people feel comfortable speaking up, which can make it appear as though mental health problems are increasing.
Young people often search for language to explain their emotions, sometimes influenced by social media or popular psychological terms.
As psychological language is becoming increasingly more common, it is helping young people put meaning to their emotional experiences.
Rather than dismissing this, parents and educators can help by guiding children to understand and label their feelings accurately, supporting healthy emotional development.
How do genetics and life factors such as family stress or academic pressure contribute?
Mental health challenges such as anxiety or depression do not have a single cause, and they are never the result of one parenting decision or life event.
Parents should avoid blaming themselves, as no single action or experience can be identified as the cause of a child’s mental health difficulties.
Genetics can play a role by shaping strengths and vulnerabilities, meaning some individuals may be more sensitive to certain life experiences than others.
For almost every illness or challenge, there can be a genetic component. However, this does not mean someone will automatically develop a mental illness if it exists in the family, but it may influence how they respond to stress or challenges.
People with the same life experiences may respond very differently depending on their individual biology, personality and coping resources.
Environmental factors such as family stress, social pressures or academic demands can contribute.
Human beings are naturally diverse, and differences in how people think, feel and respond to the world are part of that diversity.
Sometimes what appears to be a difficulty in modern environments may simply reflect differences between our natural human traits and the demands of modern society.
What are the early warning signs of anxiety in children and teens?
Signs will vary according to their individual traits, developmental age, life experiences, resources and environments.
The most important sign is a change in your child’s behaviour and their persona in the way they show up in their life.
Be mindful of any significant change that is not typical for your child and interferes with their functioning.
Younger children may express anxiety through behaviour rather than words. This may include irritability, anger and reticence.
The same can apply to older children and may also show up through behaviours such as changes in sleep or a loss of appetite.
Rather than jumping to conclusions, parents are encouraged to stay compassionate and curious if their child is experiencing negative emotions, annoyance or becoming argumentative.
Foster a space where your child feels safe to talk about challenging topics in an open, supportive and non-judgemental environment.
How can parents distinguish depression from normal adolescent mood swings?
Mood swings are temporary and fluctuate up and down, often linked to hormones or everyday frustrations.
Depression does not swing, it is more of a steady decline. A steady shift into a persistent low mood, a withdrawn low state or a noticeable loss of interest in activities a young person usually enjoys.
Depression can present with irritability, anger and outbursts. It isn’t a short-lived response like something that appears, flares and then goes away. It is a steady shift in mood, energy and outlook.
Sometimes depression does not present as an outward display of emotion. It may be a “flatness” - a lack of emotional response or a loss of reactivity.
If low mood persists and interferes with daily life, further support may be needed.
Do anxiety and depression present differently in boys and girls?
There are definite gender differences in the way mental health issues are expressed, largely influenced by social expectations and conditioning.
It is easier for boys to express distress through anger or irritability.
It is easier for girls to express sadness or emotional withdrawal.
Research often looks at large population trends, but every child is different.
A child’s behaviour and emotional expression can change depending on the social group they are in (family, friends, school peers).
Social pressures, feelings of safety and personal temperament all influence how young people express themselves.
Because of this, there is no single “expected” way a child should react or behave.
Parents should focus on understanding their individual child, rather than relying on general assumptions or stereotypes, including those based on gender.
How does temperament, like being shy or sensitive, influence risk?
Predicting mental health risk is extremely complex and influenced by many different factors. Even specialists find it difficult to accurately predict risk.
Every child is different. Their temperament, personality and life experiences all shape how they express emotions and respond to challenges.
Some children may be more reserved, sensitive or slower to talk about their feelings. This does not mean they are struggling more, it may simply reflect their temperament.
Understanding your individual child is important. By knowing their personality and usual behaviour, parents are better able to notice changes that may signal a need for support.
Labels such as “shy” or “sensitive” can sometimes oversimplify a child’s personality. These traits can also be strengths, such as feeling empathy deeply or being thoughtful in social situations.
When children feel safe, supported and understood, they are much more likely to communicate openly about how they are feeling.
Which behaviours signal that a child’s anxiety or low mood may require professional help?
Every child and situation is different, so there is no single rule for when to seek help.
If you feel you have exhausted your own resources or are unsure how to support your child, it is a good time to seek additional help.
Support can come from many places, including trusted family members, school staff, credible online resources, your GP or a child and adolescent psychologist.
Many parents worry about seeking help too early, but you do not need to wait until a problem becomes severe before reaching out.
If you have a genuine concern about your child’s wellbeing, that concern alone is enough reason to ask for support.
Health professionals would much rather parents ask questions and seek advice than struggle alone.
Early support can help address concerns sooner and provide guidance on the most appropriate next steps for your child.
How do anxiety and depression show up differently in children with autism or ADHD?
Every neurodivergent child is different, so anxiety or depression may show up in different ways depending on the individual child.
Some children may find it harder to describe their emotions in words. Instead, distress may appear through frustration, irritability or withdrawal.
Physical symptoms can sometimes be a sign of emotional distress. Children may report headaches, stomach aches or feeling unwell when they are struggling emotionally. These symptoms are real and should be taken seriously.
Children with ADHD may experience emotions very intensely and quickly, which can lead to bigger emotional reactions or difficulty regulating feelings.
ADHD traits such as restlessness, feeling on edge or difficulty settling can sometimes look similar to anxiety.
It is important for parents to understand their child’s individual personality, behaviour patterns and ways of expressing emotions. Changes from their usual behaviour can be an important signal that something may be wrong.
Helping children develop the language to understand and describe their feelings can make it easier for them to communicate when they need support.
Creating a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment helps children feel comfortable sharing their emotions and experiences.
What is “masking” and why does it make their struggles harder to spot?
Masking is when someone changes their behaviour to fit in or be accepted in a particular social setting. Everyone does this to some degree.
For some neurodivergent children, masking may involve suppressing natural behaviours (such as stimming or movement) in order to meet social expectations.
Many neurodivergent children learn to mask because they feel their authentic way of being is not accepted or understood.
Masking can be emotionally and physically exhausting, especially when a child is constantly trying to hide behaviours that help them regulate their nervous system.
Children with ADHD or autism may sometimes need to move, stim or behave differently in order to concentrate, learn or regulate their emotions.
Over time, masking can affect a child’s mental health, sense of identity and self-worth, particularly if they feel their authentic self is not accepted.
Helping children feel accepted and understood can support their wellbeing, confidence and healthy identity development.
Why are signs so often missed in neurodivergent children?
Neurodivergent children may express emotions or distress in ways that differ from what parents, teachers or society expect.
Social expectations about how boys and girls should express emotions can also influence how mental health concerns are recognised.
Because of these differences, signs of autism or ADHD can sometimes be missed, misunderstood or misdiagnosed, particularly in girls.
Emotional dysregulation or restlessness linked to ADHD can sometimes be mistaken for anxiety or other mental health conditions.
Masking can make it harder to recognise a child’s underlying needs.
In young children, some behaviours may initially appear to be part of normal development, which can delay identification of neurodivergence.
It can be helpful to focus less on fitting behaviours into diagnostic labels and more on understanding a child’s individual needs and experiences.
Taking a curious, holistic approach to a child’s behaviour can help parents and professionals provide the right support.
How can parents tell the difference between a sensory overload and an anxiety outburst?
Anxiety outbursts and sensory overload are both forms of physiological and emotional overwhelm. In many cases, they can look very similar.
In the moment, parents do not need to focus on diagnosing the cause. The supportive response is usually the same.
Helpful strategies include reducing stimulation, removing distressing triggers and providing a calm, safe space for the child to regulate.
Understanding your child’s individual triggers and needs can help prevent or reduce future overwhelm.
After a child has experienced overload, it is important to help them process the experience without shame or blame.
Many children experience after-school overwhelm, as they may have spent the day masking, managing social demands and coping with multiple expectations.
Creating a low-demand, low-sensory environment after school, such as offering a snack, allowing quiet time and avoiding too many immediate activities, can help children recover and regulate.
What should parents do if they suspect their child is struggling?
If you think your child may be struggling, the first step is to talk openly and honestly with them. Let them know you have noticed something and that you care.
Create a warm, supportive and non-judgemental environment where talking about feelings and challenges is normal.
If your child is not ready to talk, make sure they know that support and resources are available whenever they are ready.
Consider where the difficulty may be happening (for example, at school) and involve appropriate supports such as teachers, counsellors or health professionals if needed.
A helpful approach is to share observations rather than assumptions, such as: “I’ve noticed you’ve been spending more time in your room lately when normally you wouldn’t—am I right?”
This approach invites conversation rather than judgement, allowing your child to explain their experience in a way that makes sense to them.
Try to focus on the observation, not the interpretation. Although your acknowledgment of the observation may not be accurate, starting the conversation with a fact will help create a space for shared understanding and meaning.
Accept that all children will struggle at times, and having a plan for support can help families navigate these challenges more confidently.
Why is early intervention so important?
Early intervention is critical because it helps address challenges sooner and reduces long-term distress for children.
The earlier parents recognise a child’s needs and provide support, the less time the child spends struggling.
Acting early can prevent issues from escalating into more serious difficulties, allowing the right supports or strategies to be introduced sooner.
Parents should aim to be curious and observant, noticing changes in behaviour and gently exploring what might be happening for their child.
It is important to avoid becoming overly anxious or hyper-vigilant, but instead approach concerns with calm curiosity and open conversation.
Taking a proactive approach helps shift the focus from simply reacting to problems to supporting positive wellbeing and development.
Proactivity is not about safety nets and crisis plans.
Proactivity is about prioritising positives and focusing on what we want to grow in our children’s lives, including positive outcomes, meaningful goals, engagement and joy, helping them build lives that feel fulfilling and purposeful.